Outside my window~ I haven’t looked today outside my window. The blinds are closed and the curtains are shut. Dow took Seth and picked him up for me. I feel horrible and look even worse than I feel.
My thoughts~ Sometimes I detest having only yahoo messenger and email to communicate with my Master. It is the only way he will allow, so it has worked….I think. When I need to hear him and talk to him..words typed are all that I have..When there is no tone or voice inflection in typed words things are sometimes misunderstood. I apologized for what I typed, or better yet how I typed it..I am still hurt that my Master would exchange several emails with a male submissive about his cock devices..even got the guys yahoo id, not that Master would use his id..Often I have been told, and I agree with Master that He/I/we can’t control w hat others do…but we can control what WE do………………………………........................So I read the emails..Master wanted to know more about this subs cock device, sent a few emails, and the sub has sent a few more…I did fall into the doms lil trap about the question the night before on another site..my answers were true to my relationship and ownership. I didn’t ask what toys he had, and the conversation was over. I wasn’t on the site to talk to people, or even put myself out there for Im’s or emails..I was there working on my weekly assignment for my Master. It didn’t make me mad, or angry..just hurt me that he shared emails with a submissive about his cock toys…..Doesn’t matter if male or female..a submissive is a submissive.
I didn’t insult our relationship, our panties ..In my hurt heart this time I know I wasn’t wrong..and I guess or wish I could just not care who he talks with, and even then not sure that is a good thing either. Just saying I would never do that with another Dom or even Domme. He is my Master and I don‘t want to control what he does, so I guess I need to realize that he can email or chat with ever whom he pleases. Doesn’t mean I have to accept that. I am over it and do not care to discuss this anymore after typing it out. I didn’t deserve to be called a bitch.
Today’s Quote~ “When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.” - Milan Kundera
I am thankful for~ Every day. I have a pretty picture on my phone now with a caption. It states: “We are only given today and never promised tomorrow. Be sure to tell someone that you love them“. I am thankful every day that I wake up and can tell someone that I love them. I sometimes wish to hear those words. But I don’t give my love with expectations..I give it freely, so it’s a wonderful thing…every day.
My Service~ I give all that my Master allows me to give, and I hope what I can give is enough, that he is happy. I am not perfect, my fetish isn’t cleaning..it is service and cleaning is grouped into that. I am not a house girl/maid..but a submissive with a slave’s heart that longs to serve her Master. I am just me.
From the Kitchen~ Nothing, I can’t taste and Seth made popcorn in the microwave while waiting on his dad to pick him up.
I am wearing~ tshirt, shorts, yellow panties, no bra and my black satin slippers.
I am creating~ Nothing, I can’t stop crying, sneezing and coughing long enough to touch anything. Its bad luck/karma to create or even to work on something when you hurt, or you’re just not yourself. It shows in what you create.
My adventures this week~ Master’s rope last weekend. While I can’t feel it on my body now..I can still feel it in my soul and mind. Our weekend together was great.
What I am Reading~ The Alchemist. I read this once a year. It’s time. I need the words and thoughts.
Music this Week~listening to my walking music makes walking much easier.
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