Punishment, a movie. A weekend with Master.

Wow it has been a few days since I have last posted.  Rewinding back to last week.  Friday Master invited me to visit Him! After a month of being apart. (not counting the class we attended).  He made time for me. Things are starting to settle down in His life and He wanted to see me. I am a very lucky girl!

It starts the moment He asks for me to visit. The natural "high" I feel.  I float, smile, and my heart beats fast with excitement. I am balloon that starts to expand. A balloon that is filled with wanton lust and hope. 

Certain that I am not the only submissive that has her own rituals when preparing to visit with their Master, Sir, Dom; I have discovered that my rituals are a huge part of my mind set before seeing Master. 


Rituals were put in force Saturday morning and I packed a dinner for Master. I prepared chicken breasts stuffed with spinach and blue cheese, black beans with Serrano peppers, onion,garlic, cumin, and mashed potatoes.  This is a service I do for Him. He does not ask this of me, I do this on my own. When His mouth tastes my cooking, He's enjoying a part of me. smile.


Master had told me the night before He will gag me at this visit. He often tells me when I walk in and open my mouth I sidetrack him and He can't focus. He calls it an "illness". Giggle. Honestly, I don't do it in purpose.."as I bat my eyes innocently".


He helps me carry my bags in, I strip and Master gags me. I don't care for a gag, but who am I to complain and can't really with a ball shoved in my mouth. HAHAHHA. The gag makes me drool and musses the makeup. I am very into pretty makeup, a fetish nearly and I work a long time on it. However, if Master wants a gag, that is what Master gets. 


He has a ladder standing in the den. It's not a tall ladder, maybe an over sized step ladder is a better description.  I am vertically challenged at 5'2  any ladder is tall to me. If I remember correctly I was strapped to the ladder at the ankles and arms. He put a pillow in front of my chest for me to lay over onto, Master is very considerate at times. I say remember correctly because sometimes details escape me after a scene. They may reappear a few days or weeks down the road or may not.  I do remember asking if may be allowed to wear my fuchsia heels.



This was not to be a pleasure beating. While Master was being stressed in his private life, I was hormonal, missing Him and I guess acting out. Plainly put I showed my ass and upset Him. I never do this. Being away, the hormones, and sometimes not feeling secure,wanted or needed was a recipe for disaster 


Master lectured me and beat me at the same time. I am a slut for pain, a greedy pain pig. When Master lectures me and I hear the disappointment, even hurt in His tone, it crushes me. Hearing this hurts more than any cane could ever sting. Tears poured and I kept listening. The welts on my ass were nothing compared to the cracks felt in my heart. I cry as I sit here and remember that feeling, that memory will never escape my mind.


After my punishment/discipline. I lean toward punishment. I am told to dress and that we were leaving. With no idea where we were going; I dressed and asked to reapply my makeup. My request was denied. He said I looked fine. 


We drove and He had me pull into a shopping center. Driving slow I saw the movie theater. Master was taking me to a movie I have mentioned several times! I was told that He wanted to deal with me before he treated me. 


Master and I have never been "out" to a movie together. I was so happy to experience this with Him. Why it was nearly a date and that is something I have not done since meeting Him two years ago. I did not mention that Sunday was our two year anniversary. Two years ago that we had arranged to meet at a munch after chatting for several months online. That will be another post.


I wanted to caress His cock while sitting in the dark. A cute movie was playing and while  I did pay attention, my mind kept grabbing onto thoughts of touching. My eyes would also glance over and admire his profile in the dark. I wonder if Master saw me smiling and if so, did He know it wasn't because I was enjoying the movie? I smiled because I enjoy being with Him. I do not need to be played, or cumming to enjoy my Master, I can be at His feet, side, in my cage or just chatting with Him. 

When we returned home, I warmed up dinner and Master put the black tutu on me that He had made. It is so cute and girlie! He also slapped and tortured my nips and breasts. They burned and turned red. I marked rather well this weekend.


I was allowed to worship His wonderful cock and had a few shots of tequila. Sucking cock that was dipped in tequila is especially yummy too!


We slept and awoke the next morning. I cleaned the bathroom and fucked my Master's foot. I am naughty,nasty and perverted. Kissing his foot and then having it stretching me is something that gets me off. More cock worship and I napped with Master's cock in my mouth. I would love to sleep and wake up with His cock in my mouth often. Daily in my dreams. hahahhaa. 


Before leaving I received a hand spanking and paddling. 182 hits with the paddle. Somehow, somewhere over the last two years, I can't remember how, but 182 became the number of licks I receive. Sometimes they are by the cane, belt, paddle or a mixture. 


It was time for me to leave. I absolutely hate leaving. 


I drove home. My ass was on fire and I never turned on the radio. I like to drive home in silence and reflect on my time spent with Master.

This week I have felt His touch that remains on my body. I felt his marks as  I worked and went about my vanilla routine and lived in my vanilla world.  Each time my breasts would ache underneath my bra and each time I felt the burn on my ass, I would smile and remember how lucky I am to be His.



He told me tonight that He is still upset and hurting for the way I acted. He couldn't see my tears and I did not divulge that information. I would take a hundred beatings and endure the heart wrenching lectures , go without makeup, beg for hours on my knees, anything to hear Him say that it's gone. His disappointment and the hurt gone from his words and thoughts.



I have promised not to do this again. I won't fuck up what is wonderful. I will not risk that EVER again. 


Tonight is Thanksgiving eve and I find myself alone. My children are with their father and my father is out of town with His "other" family. I am dreading tomorrow. I will survive and will try to keep busy. It's not a major issue with me, I wish He could include me in His other world. I wish we were of both worlds together. I can't date vanilla. Not by orders or rules but by choice. I can't divide myself in such a way. I am not wired like that. Survival is what I do best. I sink and then get up, brush myself off and carry on. 




I hope he forgives me...it's hurting both of us. ...xx